An Introduction…
As we navigate the challenges of life, learning to listen to our bodies can be surprisingly helpful. I’d like to explore a simple but powerful practice called Focusing. If you’ve come across Focusing before, that’s not surprising because it was developed in the 1980’s! But in case you haven’t, here is a simple definition:
Focusing is a body-oriented process of self-awareness and emotional healing. It’s as simple as noticing how you feel – and then having a conversation with your feelings, in which you do most of the listening. Focusing starts with the familiar experience of feeling something in your body that is about what is going on in your life. (Ann Weiser Cornell, The Power of Focusing, p.2-3)
I came acrost Focusing years ago, as a simple but powerful skill that is essentially about listening to the wisdom of the body. Discovered and taught by Eugene Gendlin (whose book was published, after considerable research, in 1978), it has since been recognized as a natural skill we can all develop. While it may be useful in therapy, the gifts of Focusing are available to all of us, at any time. So I’d like to introduce the basics here, as an invitation to deeper exploration…
Here is another excerpt from Cornell’s book:
Focusing is the process of listening to your body in a gentle, accepting way and hearing the messages that your inner self is sending you. It’s a process of honoring the wisdom that you have inside you, becoming aware of the subtle level of knowing that speaks to you through your body. (p.3)
Focusing may be valuable in a variety of situations – to get in touch with our deeper feelings and longings, to manage strong emotions, deepen self-acceptance, or arrive at clear choices and decisions.
Let’s explore the process…
The Basics of the Focusing Process
Focusing begins with learning to trust our feelings – by which I mean the feelings in our bodies as well as emotions. We often find ourselves asking “What can I trust?” in life. Here the answer involves a willingness to listen to our inner experience, our inner “self.”
We begin by being present to our what we’re feeling (not thinking!). This presence involves being curious – listening to our bodies, welcoming and exploring what emerges. In Focusing, we bring our attention to what Gendlin calls the “felt sense.” We are so used to paying attention to our minds, to the words and perhaps images that present themselves. Here, the inquiry is different: “What am I feeling/sensing/experiencing in my body right now?”
Staying present to our felt experience is not easy! We are so accustomed to the magnetic pull of mental journeys… But in this process, all we are asked to do is “say hello” to what we feel in the body – not change it, banish it, or improve it. This “hello” invites us into a relationship with whatever presents itself.
All the Voices are Welcome
Typically, as we begin to be aware of one experience, we become aware of different voices and feelings. Of course. One part feels angry, then a feeling of nervousness presents itself, perhaps followed by some shame about not feeling totally clear. Focusing remains open, allowing all the parts to be heard, giving them each space. There’s no rush. And remember, these are not thoughts – they emerge from the “felt sense,” which we experience in the body.
Not-Knowing
This process of “remaining open to what presents itself” begins with an attitude of not-knowing. We are invited to remain curious, and open to what the body wants to tell us. Can I be interested in what I don’t know?
This naturally involves beginning to let go of, or soften, our conditioned emphasis on clear mental answers and action plans. Focusing invites us to surrender control!
The Focusing Process
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“Which way today?”
As we prepare for a focusing session, we need to find a quiet and comfortable space to sit, hopefully free from potential distractions. (This in itself can be challenging!) There’s no particular position: this isn’t meditation. We will also want to have some kind of journal or notebook ready. We may start with a particular focus, but there’s no need to have a specific issue in mind – it’s fine to wait and see what emerges.
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“I’m sensing into my body.”
Take a few slow, deep breaths. You may want to close your eyes, or just let your eyes look downward. Gradually let your awareness drop into your body – perhaps feeling your weight on the chair, letting your attention gently include your feet… belly… shoulders and hands…. Begin to bring your attention to the middle of your body, from your throat down through your chest stomach, and abdomen/belly. As you gently focus on each part, just notice any particular sensations: tightness, heaviness, blankness, discomfort, peacefulness. Take your time. No rush.
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“What wants my awareness now?”
This is an open invitation. If you have a specific issue in mind, then you might begin with “How am I about that issue?”
As you bring awareness to your body, you may begin to experience something. Just explore, sense where your attention is drawn, and be open. There may be a subtle sensation – or a strong and clear feeling. You may sense a feeling – “sad,” “angry,” “scared” – or a sensation like “agitated,” “tight” – or you may get an image, like “ball,” “fist,” “fiery.” The invitation is simply to remain attentive (and if your attention wanders, just gently bring it back to sensation).
Don’t be surprised if you get distracted by wondering if you’re doing this “right”! Simply notice – even if what you’re aware of is “an emptiness” or a “nervous nothing.” Remember, there’s no rush here, you’re just being receptive to whatever presents itself.
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“I’m saying hello to what’s here.”
As you become aware of something, let it know you’re present: “Hello, I know you’re there.” There’s nothing complicated about this. You’re simply acknowledging the presence of ‘something,” and then allowing time to feel how it’s responding to your greeting. You’re making contact with your felt sense, without any plan or agenda. No rush. And if, at the beginning, it feels strange to talk to your body like this, I encourage you to try it – with practice, you will be surprised at how it opens you to deeper listening.
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“I’m finding the best way to describe it.”
Now you’re invited to describe what you’re sensing – in a word or phrase, an image, even a gesture or sound. There’s no script, no right or wrong, just a process of getting to know this part of yourself. As the description fills out, you may gradually feel you’re on the right track, moving towards what feel “right.” I love Cornell’s phrase here: it’s like feeling your way to the center of the maze.
When you find the description that fits just right, you’re likely to feel some relief. Can you take your time to let that in? Something has opened up. You might feel the sensations softening, a sense of relaxation and peace … an insight may emerge.
Whether or not you arrive at a “felt sense” of completion or insight, something has been opened. No need to push. Just let yourself be aware of your body right now, feel inside. Write about your experience in your journal.
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“I’m checking back with my body.”
This is really a practice throughout the Focusing process. Whenever there are words or images that come to you as you explore the felt sense, it’s important to offer them back to the felt sense for confirmation. It’s very simple: just offer the word or image back to the feeling in your body, as if you’re saying “Clenching? Is that right?” You may sense the rightness of it, or feel called to change or modify the word/phrase and offer it back to the sense. It’s an unfolding process.
There’s more to explore, of course (including answers to your questions!), but this is the essential exploration.
To simplify , here are the steps:
- “Which way today?”
- “I’m sensing into my body.”
- “What wants my awareness now?”
- “I’m saying hello to what’s here.”
- “I’m finding the best way to describe it.”
- “I’m checking back with my body.”
I love the gentle curiosity in this practice. As you find yourself becoming comfortable with it, you may be surprised as you begin to feel more “in tune,” “at home,” more aware of subtleties and in touch with yourself.
Ann Weiser Cornell, The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing. Oakland, CA.: New Harbinger Publications, 1996.